After two months of exclusively online dating at Loveawake dating site, Mr. C still refuses to acknowledge that heâs my boyfriend. However, a number of tell-tale signs assure me that heâs in it for the long haul.
A guy is your boyfriend ifâ¦
1. He has a toothbrush at your place. Mr. C has a toothbrush in my cabinet that he uses whenever he sleeps over. I bought it for him, and each night he stays over, he goes to get it all on his own. He brought over the floss, since we all know I have dental hygiene habit catching up to do.
2. His mom knows about youâand you know about his mom. I havenât met her yet, but heâs told her about me. He also talks to me about her all the time. It makes me feel included.
3. He knows your birthday. I just mentioned it once, and he remembered it. I felt guilty when after four guesses, I didnât get his right. Itâs seared into my brain (and Blackberry) now.
4. You travel together. In a few weeks, weâre going to Napa Valley and San Francisco. Iâm helping pay, but heâs definitely taking the lead on paying and organizing. Iâve never had a man buy my plane ticket before. I feel special.
5. He leaves you alone at his place. Now that Iâm unemployed, he gets up and goes to work in the mornings. I stick around for a few hours longer, reading issues of Black Enterprise from 2007 that are still sitting on his living room table.
6. He wants you to meet his best friends. Considering we had this one precious summer together before being flung to opposite sides of the country, neither of us has been in a rush to hang out in big groups. However, he asked me to have lunch with one of his best guy friends from college and weâll join another good friend while up in Napa. Heâs met two of my best girl friends and seems quite open to meeting more. Nice.
7. You asked him to get an STD test. And he did. Mr. C still doesnât understand why itâs such a big deal to ask a guy for an STD test. âWhatâs the big deal!? Any guy should be willing to take one!â Example of why I adore him.
8. He isnât afraid of your blog. I donât know how often Mr. C visits CrazyGirl Nation, but he definitely alludes to things I write in it, and heâs made it clear he wants a cooler name. âWhy canât I have an under-used letter? Like Mr. U or Mr. X?â
9. He isnât afraid of your period. Today I got trapped in Mr. Câs bathroom for twenty minutes because I unexpectedly started my period.
Me: âMr. C!â (Of course I donât really call him that.)
Mr. C: âWhat?â
Me: âI need you to go buy me some tampons! Sorry!â
Mr. C: (without hesitation) âOkay. What kind do you like?â
Me: âNormal. Regular. Unscented. Whatever! Make sure it has an applicator! Do you know what that is?â
Mr. C: âYes, I know what that is. Why are you saying sorry?â
Me: âI donât knowâ¦ Thank you! And can you bring me a toothbrush?â
He brought me back Tampax Pearls. Very nice. Not even the CVS brand.
10. He doesnât balk at you saying crazy things about your future together.
Me last night: âOkay, so weâll date for a year, then youâll propose, weâll be engaged for a year, and then weâll be married before you even have to start Business School!â
Him: âUmâ¦That could happen.â
The point of that conversation wasnât to get him to agree to some crazy timeline. It was me giving him an idea of my expectationsâlike Iâm not trying to date someone for four years and then just see what happens. I have no idea of knowing if our relationship will work out, but itâs nice to know that he doesnât balk at the idea of getting married within the next few years.
11. He knows how to make you feel better. Mr. C calls himself The BeastMaster, because he knows all the ways to calm me down when I get worked up in a frenzy. I get headaches at night from worrying too much and not drinking enough water during the day. Mr. Câs cure is a glass of water and fifteen minutes of spooning and face caressing. I always immediately fall asleep. When I get in a mean mood, the cure is matching my sassiness tit for tat. I give up on trying to bully him. Mr. C is a crazy guy well-matched for my crazy girl tendencies.
So if your guy is title-phobic, and youâre wondering if he may in fact already be your boyfriend, think through the things that boyfriends usually do and see if your guy has been stepping up to the task. You may find that you can stop being obsessed with titles and just sit back and enjoy the relationship as it develops.
If youâre dating a guy and are not sure what your relationship status is, how do you tell if he is in fact your boyfriend?